Get Over a Bad Breakup and How to Take It Easy

Posted by winthegirl on Mar 12, 2012 in The Bad Break-ups | 0 comments

A bad breakup can prove to be that rough patch in your life due to which you plunge yourself into a phase of intense dejection, wanting to be in isolation and making you lose trust in relationships. The loss of that wonderful relationship with your loved one leaves you crestfallen making you vulnerable to all kinds of those things that make you sad or morose. However, to help you get over this really bad phase of break up and if you are looking for some really effective suggestions, the following rundown of some of the most sought-after points to how to get over those weird relationships are really going to be the ones you have been looking for:

Give Everything A Thorough Thought:
Mull over as to why did you end up breaking up with your guy or girl and try thinking over the reasons, possibly as many times you can. Be considerate about the genuine reasons and try being true to yourself. You need to understand that no matter how much you enjoyed each other’s company, yet if it was not a relationship that your partner and you wanted for a lifetime, it is better that you end breaking it up. Even if you did not have to make much effort to win the girl or the guy, still if you both were not good to go together, it was somehow destined to fall apart.

Give Yourself Adequate Space:
Notwithstanding that you and your ex have made up your minds to be friends after the break-up, try to keep away from each other for some time. This would imply that you will need to say a no to visiting each other, making calls, sending and replying to e-mails, chatting on different social networking websites, not texting each other etc. till the time you are completely convinced that you will be able to be in contact with him or her on an absolutely platonic level. Bear in mind that the moment you try to relive your past with your ex, it will be really trying for both of you to let go the relationship and you both will be a complete mess. This one should be a great idea of turning a bad breakup into a good breakup.

Deal With The Phase Appropriately:
Be cool and remember, it is quite natural that you may be feeling intensely messed up after you had a break-up. Taking the ownership for the mistakes that have been committed by you and admitting them to yourself is actually good. On the contrary, you should acknowledge the fact that you are a good personality and you really tried to make such weird relationships work, however it was not just you because of which the entire thing had to get ripped apart. Remember, it makes two to quarrel, and therefore a break-up is an upshot of the mistakes committed at both ends.

Conclusion:
Spaced out from this, try socializing, instead of isolating yourself and sulking in some corner as doing this would just worsen the situation and it will prove to be a bad breakup phase for you like for eternity. You just have to play it cool while you are trying to make it a good break up phase and take things easy instead of brooding over the past.

To Catch a Cheater

Posted by Heather on Feb 18, 2012 in Rants & Raves | 0 comments

This real dating story is written by Heather.

Is Karma really a bitch? Or do we just call it a bitch because it calls us out on all of the skeletons in our closet?  It’s the oldest saying in the book: What goes around comes around.  I now believe this to be completely true, except that I stumble upon it in reverse.  Usually, you do something, and then that something comes back to haunt you in one way or another.  However, I have stumbled over karma in a different direction.  Once upon a time, I was in love with someone for five years until the day I found naked pictures of another woman in his email.  I broke this off and thought that he was the biggest scum bag on the planet.  I know that there are external factors in every relationship that can cause a person to stray, but what actually makes them do it?

I’d clearly like to blame the male race for this, but women are guilty too.  Whether they are the external factor, or the cheaters themselves, women are just as much to blame.  As I mentioned, I was cheated on and for a long time, I blamed the ex AND the girl who sent him the pictures.  It never occured to me that she could have no idea what was really going on?  Can I forgive him and not her?

 

Recently, I fell very hard for someone.  We had casually known each other, gone out a few times, and talked all of the time.  I didn’t hear from him for a few days and came to find out that he had torn a ligament in his knee and

had to have surgery in a couple of weeks.  I offered to take him to the hospital for surgery and take care of him for a week after to make sure he was okay because that’s what you do when you care about someone.  So after I offered, I got the worst text message of my life back.  I read the dreaded words, ‘I have something I need to tell you, I have a girlfriend that I live with.’  What am I supposed to say to that?! Not only had we gone out, but we slept together.  I have never felt so guilty in my life.

I couldn’t help but think, is this karma coming back at me, but counter clockwise?  Or am I just blaming karma for what’s happening to me and not taking responsibilty for my actions? Do I really have anyone to blame but him? Why can’t people just be honest from the beginning??  I know for a fact that the reason he didn’t tell me from the beginning is because he knew that I would break it off from the start.

Then I ask myself, are we ever going to be completely happy?  All we want is for someone to love us conditionally, like in the movies.  I’d be crazy if I said that I didn’t want someone to hold my hand and kiss me on the cheek when I’m 80 years old.  How often does that come along?  Does it come along for everyone? I really hope that it does because even if I don’t have a big house or lots of money, at the end of the day, I just want someone to love me.   Isn’t that what we all want?

 

The Third Wheel of Love

Posted by Heather on Jan 30, 2012 in Weird Relationships | 0 comments

 

Obviously when it comes to love and relationships, we have about 2938479238742 questions because let’s be honest, it can be beyond complicated at times.  Here’s a question I’ve been asking myself: What happens when you fall in love with someone who is with someone else?

 

For me, the first thing that comes to mind is the whole Leanne Rhimes/Eddie Cibrian situation.  In case you aren’t familiar with the drama, Leanne Rhimes and Eddie Cibrian were both married to other people when they were at work together on the set of a movie.  They had a secret relationship at first, divorced their spouses, and then got married to each other.  I know that Leanne Rhimes seems like a careless whore and Eddie Cibrian seems like a cheating bastard.  It really does appear to be terrible at first glance, but what if they are the loves of each other’s lives and they were just with the wrong people at first? (I don’t just mean the fact that I’m pretty sure her first husband Dean whatshisface is obviously gay)… But is there really only one person for you in this world? Or can we just be so infatuated with the idea of love that we’ll accept any feelings that remotely resemble it?

 

Sure, it seems terrible at first, but wouldn’t that be worth a lifetime of happiness? Or should we stand behind our morals and values and stay in a relationship that is lacking.. whether it be sex, emotion, support, or anything for that matter? Relationships are so complicated but can you sympathize with anyone in that situation? Whether you’re the one in love with someone’s significant, or the girlfriend who’s boyfriend is in love with someone else. Honestly to me, the biggest mystery in life is how you can’t help the way you feel about certain people; the ones that you are attracted to immediately, the ones you fall head over heels for, or how there are certain people that you love, but just aren’t in love with.

 

I’m sure that most would appreciate honesty, but what would you do if your significant other came up to you one day and told you that he/she was in love with someone else? Would you be devistated or relieved or both? Regardless of how you feel about them, would you put your feelings before them? Or do you love them so much that when you say that ‘ you just want what’s best for them and want them to be happy’ do you truly mean it?

 

Discuss.

Top 5 Reasons To Quit Online Dating

Posted by Bret on Jan 19, 2012 in Real Dating Stories | 0 comments

Top 5 Reasons To Quit Online Dating

 

1. Very, very, very time consuming

Sure, online dating starts off fun and exciting, but sooner than later it will be sucking up more of your time than the DMV, and you’ll wonder why you haven’t accomplished anything in the last month.

 

2. Telling your friends and family is awkward

You finally met someone online and everyone just has to ask

“So, where did you guys meet?”. I don’t know why everyone wants to know this, but it will come up. And it will be awkward. If you say online you might as well be admitting you met your new fling at the Glitter Factory because you’re going to get the same reaction. You know…that look of approving disapproval followed by an artificially inspiring “Oooh”.

 

3. Girls are sneaky photographers

Girls have a sneaky way of making themselves look ‘better than advertised’. Beware of photo’s that use generous camera angles, over exposed lighting, and strategic cropping. If you come across these, chances are your real life encounter will likely be of the third kind.

 

4. Dating shouldn’t be like a job interview

When relationships happen naturally and spontaneously there’s no better feeling. It feels like high-fiving fate. It feels like destiny. When they don’t, they end up being based on superficial criteria, which isn’t the best way to set a foundation.

 

5. Have an awesome story to tell your grandkids

What is the point of reproducing if you can’t pass down legendary stories to your grandkids? “I caught your grandmother as she slipped on spilled jelly in the supermarket” is a way better way to kick off your story than “I poked your grandma on Facebook”. Think about it.

 

 

New Beginnings

Posted by winthegirl on Jan 4, 2012 in Rants & Raves | 0 comments

So there I was analyzing every aspect of my life. Relationships, friendships, and so on. What led me here? Where did things go wrong? Was it me? Was it them? I’m the type of person who is widely open to criticism, so when i’ve got a minute to think, I’ll be my own worst critic. I’ll never understand people who are blind to their mistakes, their shortcomings, or anything else that may devalue them in their own mind. I think that makes us who we are. It makes us unique. And it certainly shouldn’t devalue one’s self worth. If you can learn to accept who you are, you can grow as a person, and who doesn’t want to do that?

 

I’ve started to write because i’ve learned to pick up on things that others might not necessarily see. A lot of what you’ll see in life that turns things sour is plain miscommunication. I see it everyday. One person was thinking this, while you were thinking something else. When expectations and intentions don’t line up, it spells trouble (Not literally).

 

I’m not here to give relationship advice. I don’t know how to get your girlfriend back or how to find the perfect girl. Only here to tell the story along the way in the hopes that we can all land that person that makes us feel like nothing else matters.